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Tuesday, July 05, 2011

Confidence vs. Bravado


I have struggled with self-esteem issues, worthiness and 'inadequacy' for most of my adult life.  Most people gasp when I share that with them - they have always seen me as confident, strong, poised and in control.   I don't need to explain the why, how or when - it's now irrelevant.  But it took the illness I've experienced over the last 10 years to make me realise that masks and suits of armour are not the healthiest of outfits, and that vulnerability and authenticity are the only healthy and sustainable way to live.
Bravado works fine, most of the time.  It will allow you to have the courage you need to get your way out of the Pit and begin your journey to the Penthouse.  But the only way to build a sustainable life is to do the work to know who you truly are and to develop the self-love that allows you to live the way that is right for you.  Only then does real confidence evolve.
My first suggestion is strong and clear.  Eliminate the word 'should' from your mind and your vocabulary.  That word always indicates someone else's agenda, often their attempts to control you either physically or emotionally.    Be conscious of your words, control your own mind and life, and make your own choices.   When you were a child, you needed to be taught and guided.  Now, as a wonderful whole free being, your teachings are your own.  There is no one right way to do anything.  There are right outcomes, of course, and right living.   And your values, your decision criteria and your choices are up to you.  Go, wonderful being, and live your greatness!
And let me know how I can help you.

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